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Nhầm
- Một anh chàng người Quảng Nam vào miền Nam đi buôn lậu. Một hôm, nhóm của anh chàng này đang gùi hàng qua khu rừng, bỗng anh ta hét lên: "Cong ang! Cong ang!". Mọi người hốt hoảng bỏ hàng, chạy thục mang về phía trước. Chạy được một lúc, quay đầu lại thì không thấy công an đâu. Họ liền hỏi: - Mày nói có công an, vậy công an đâu? Anh này bèn trả lời: - Dạ em đâu có nói công an. Em nhìn thấy cong ang nên la lên mà! Thì ra, tiếng Quảng "con ong" được nói thành "cong ang"
<div data-xtcontainer="container" class="xt_container"> </div> <style type="text/css"> #xt_auth_container { position: static; display: inline; display: inline-block; text-align: right; margin: 3px 0; padding: 0; width: 100%; height: auto; border: none; } .xt_auth_view { position: static; display: inline; display: inline-block; text-align: right; margin: 0; padding: 0; width: auto; height auto; border: none; } .xt_auth_action { text-align: left; position: static; display: inline; zoom: 1; display: inline-block; vertical-align: top; margin: 0 5px 0 0; padding: 0 5px; height: 20px; width: auto; border: none; -webkit-border-radius: 3px; -moz-border-radius: 3px; -o-border-radius: 3px; border-radius: 3px; background-color: #2e2e2e; background-color: rgba(0,0,0,0.4); !background-color: #2e2e2e; font: 600 12px/20px "Helvetica Neue","HelveticaNeue",Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif; text-decoration: none; -webkit-text-shadow: 1px 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.08); -moz-text-shadow: 1px 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.08); -o-text-shadow: 1px 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.08); text-shadow: 1px 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.08); color: #fff; -webkit-user-select: none; } .xt_auth_action > * { vertical-align: top; } .xt_auth_action:hover { background-color: #1f1f1f; background-color: rgba(0,0,0,0.6); } .xt_auth_action:link, .xt_auth_action:visited, .xt_auth_action:active, .xt_auth_action:hover { text-decoration: none; color: #fff; } .xt_auth_icon, .xt_auth_avatar { position: static; display: inline; display: inline-block; width: 13px; height: 13px; margin: 3px 1px 0 0; padding: 0; vertical-align: top; border: 0; } .xt_auth_icon { background-image: url(http://xtgem.com/images/authbar/auth_sprite_v2.png); margin-right: 0; } .xt_auth_icon_enchanted .xt_auth_icon { background-size: 103px; /* margin: 4px 2px 0 0; */ } /* join & subscribe */ .xt_auth_join .xt_auth_icon, .xt_auth_subscribe .xt_auth_icon { background-position: -92px 13px; } /* inbox */ .xt_auth_inbox .xt_auth_icon { background-position: -78px 13px; } /* rate */ .xt_auth_rate .xt_auth_icon { background-position: 0 14px; } /* unrate */ .xt_auth_unrate .xt_auth_icon { background-position: -13px 14px; } /* star */ .xt_auth_star .xt_auth_icon { background-position: -26px 13px; } /* unstar */ .xt_auth_unstar .xt_auth_icon { background-position: -39px 13px; } /* repost */ .xt_auth_repost .xt_auth_icon { background-position: -52px 12px; margin-top: 4px; } /* reposted */ .xt_auth_reposted .xt_auth_icon { background-position: -65px 12px; margin-top: 4px; } /* join & subscribe */ .xt_auth_icon_enchanted .xt_auth_join .xt_auth_icon, .xt_auth_icon_enchanted .xt_auth_subscribe .xt_auth_icon { background-position: 11px 0.5px; width: 12px; } /* inbox */ .xt_auth_icon_enchanted .xt_auth_inbox .xt_auth_icon { background-position: 25px 1px; } /* rate */ .xt_auth_icon_enchanted .xt_auth_rate .xt_auth_icon { background-position: 0 0; } /* unrate */ .xt_auth_icon_enchanted .xt_auth_unrate .xt_auth_icon { background-position: -13px 0; } /* star */ .xt_auth_icon_enchanted .xt_auth_star .xt_auth_icon { background-position: 77px 0; } /* unstar */ .xt_auth_icon_enchanted .xt_auth_unstar .xt_auth_icon { background-position: 64px 0; } /* repost */ .xt_auth_icon_enchanted .xt_auth_repost .xt_auth_icon { background-position: 51px 1px; margin: 3px 0 0 0; } /* reposted */ .xt_auth_icon_enchanted .xt_auth_reposted .xt_auth_icon { background-position: 39px 1px; margin: 3px 0 0 0; } /* hidding */ .xt_auth_unstar, .xt_auth_unsubscribe, .xt_auth_unrate { display: none; } .xt_auth_action_star_active .xt_auth_unstar, .xt_auth_action_rate_active .xt_auth_unrate, .xt_auth_action_subscribe_active .xt_auth_unsubscribe { display: inline-block; } .xt_auth_action_star_active .xt_auth_star, .xt_auth_action_rate_active .xt_auth_rate, .xt_auth_action_subscribe_active .xt_auth_subscribe { display: none; } #xt_auth_container { position: fixed; } html { padding-top: 20px; } #xt_auth_container { top: 0; left: 0; } #xt_auth_container, .xt_auth_view, .xt_auth_icon, .xt_auth_avatar { max-height: none !important; max-width: none !important; min-width: none !important; min-width: none !important; opacity: 1 !important; text-indent: 0 !important; visibility:visible !important; } </style><div id='xt_auth_container'><div class='xt_auth_view xt_auth_not_logged'><a href='https://xtgem.com/auth/login?redir=VjFkVk9ITmpWRVZJVkRGTVIyeDNXRVpoVlhKTVZUaFRSakJwVEVoaGQzSkxWV0ZHVTNvNFRFbGhhVUZVZWpWTVZGTkdiME5zUFQwPQ%3D%3D&s=VjFkSGFrSldPVkZMZG0xeFRYcHRXRVpVUzBKVWRqMDk%3D&is_a=0&is_f=0&via=New+authbar' target='_parent' class='xt_auth_action xt_auth_login'>Log in</a></div></div> <script type="text/javascript"> (function () { var doc = document; var body = doc.body; var xhr_done_auth = true; doc.addEventListener ? window.addEventListener( 'load', init, false ) : window.attachEvent( 'onload', init ); function init () { doc = document; body = doc.body; var el_auth = doc.getElementById( 'xt_auth_container' ); doc.addEventListener ? el_auth.addEventListener( 'click', hook_xhr_action, false ) : el_auth.attachEvent( 'onclick', hook_xhr_action ); if ( 'backgroundSize' in doc.body.style ) { if ( window.devicePixelRatio && window.devicePixelRatio > 1 ) { el_auth.className += ' xt_auth_icon_enchanted'; } } } // bind xhr links function hook_xhr_action ( e ) { var e = e || window.event; var target = e.target || e.srcElement; target = target.className == 'xt_auth_icon' ? target.parentNode : target; if ( target.getAttribute( 'data-xhr' ) ) { var url = target.href; url = url + (url.indexOf( '?' ) == -1 ? '?via_ajax=1' : '&via_ajax=1'); load_data({ url: url, xhr_done: xhr_done_auth, callback: handle_xhr_response }); (e.preventDefault) ? e.preventDefault() : e.returnValue = false; return false; } } function handle_xhr_response ( xhr ) { function handle_error ( xhr ) { window.location.href = window.location.href; } function handle_success ( xhr ) { var wrapper = document.getElementById( 'xt_auth_container' ); var tmp_class = wrapper.className; var current_action = xhr.response.split( ';' )[1]; var actions = { bookmark: 'xt_auth_action_star_active', vote: 'xt_auth_action_rate_active', subscribe: 'xt_auth_action_subscribe_active' }; for ( key in actions ) { if ( !actions.hasOwnProperty( key ) ) continue; if ( current_action.indexOf( key ) == -1 ) continue; wrapper.className = current_action.indexOf( 'un' ) == -1 ? tmp_class + ' ' + actions[key] : tmp_class.replace( (' ' + actions[key]), '' ); } } xhr.response = xhr.response ? xhr.response : xhr.responseText; (xhr.status != 200 || xhr.response.indexOf( 'ERR;') != -1 ) ? handle_error(xhr) : handle_success(xhr); } //load_data( { url: url, method: method, data: data, async: async, xhr_done: xhr_done, callback: callback }); function load_data( settings ) { var async = settings.async ? !!settings.async : true, url = settings.url ? settings.url.toString() : false, method = settings.method ? settings.method.toUpperCase() : 'GET', callback = settings.callback ? settings.callback : false, data = settings.data ? settings.data.toString() : '', xhr_done = settings.xhr_done ? settings.xhr_done : null, xhr; // xhr in progress or url not provided -> exit if ( !( (xhr_done == true || xhr_done == null) && url ) ) return; if ( typeof XMLHttpRequest !== 'undefined' ) { xhr = new XMLHttpRequest(); } else { try { xhr = new XMLHttpRequest("MSXML2.XmlHttp.5.0") || new XMLHttpRequest("MSXML2.XmlHttp.4.0") || new XMLHttpRequest("MSXML2.XmlHttp.3.0") || new XMLHttpRequest("MSXML2.XmlHttp.2.0") || new XMLHttpRequest("Microsoft.XmlHttp"); } catch ( e ) {} } // if xhr object does not supported or url not given, exit xhr.onreadystatechange = function () { if ( xhr.readyState != 4 ) return; if ( xhr_done != null ) xhr_done = true; callback ? callback( xhr ) : null; } xhr.open( method, url, async ); if ( method === 'POST' ) { xhr.setRequestHeader( "Content-type", "application/x-www-form-urlencoded" ); xhr.send( data ); } else { xhr.send( null ); } if ( xhr_done != null ) xhr_done = false; }; })(); </script></body> </html>